The pursuit of how to be a better parent never really ends. This quest led to the concept of “positive parenting”. But what is positive parenting and how to acquire these skills? Here is a step by step guide on positive parenting tips for all parents.
What is “positive parenting”?
“Positive parenting” is not some vague term that I coined on my own. It is a real thing. CDC ( Centre of Disease Control ) and AAP ( American Academy of Paediatrics ) have been spreading awareness about it. They are also conducting “positive parenting skill training” for parents in need.
Basically “positive parenting” is the process of raising a kid in such a way, that promotes its optimal growth and development plus keep it safe from injury and other dangers. This parenting guides and shapes a child’s overall physical, mental and social dimensions.
15 Positive Parenting Tips Every Parent Must Know?
Perfect parents don’t exist. Howbeit “positive parenting” is a pretty achievable goal. It is not just taking care of only nutrition and diet of kid, but also attending to many other aspects of parenting.
Here are few proven positive parenting tips stated below.
1. Know every child is unique
These days parents are after raising a ‘super kid’. They want their kid to excel in everything; be it academics, sports, music and what not! But they loose sight of the fact that “Every child is one-of-its-kind”.
Take for instance different birds. Each bird is gifted with a unique talent. Ostrich is fleet-footed, penguin swims fast, peacock is beautiful, eagle has sharp focus, crow is smart and so on. Same is the case with kids.
Positive parenting guide focuses on picking out a child’s strength and interest and growing that rather than expecting perfection in everything.
2. Basic knowledge about developmental milestones
To develop required skill set in child, parents should have some knowledge about age appropriate developmental milestones of kids. In other words parents should know at what age child sits, stands, walks, blabbers, smiles, draws circle etc.
An integral part of parenting responsibilities is, to give proper atmosphere to foster particular developmental skill as per age of your kid.
3. Positive reinforcement
Positive reinforcement or in simple words ‘praise’ or ‘reward’ works like a magic. Have you heard story of Thomas Edition and his mother?
Edition was once expelled from school stating he was mentally deficient. It is his mother’s dedicated stimulation and praise that turned him into the greatest inventor of all time. Till date 1093 patent inventions are under name of Thomas Edition. Out of all Incandescent light bulb is the most breakthrough invention by him.
Positive reinforcement is both praising or rewarding your kid for every desirable behaviour or effort. This will motivate him/her in right direction. However do not pamper or praise your kid too much entire time .
This kind of encouragement helps specifically when a child is learning to fathom a complex skill. Praising for his/her effort will make a child persistently try and succeed at it.
4. Don’t be too harsh -
In many parts of world punishment is a norm in parenting, which is not just right.
Goal of parenting is not to ‘punish’ but to ‘teach’.
A child is still in a learning phase. Hence one of the crucial positive parenting tips says do not use harsh language or jarring physical punishment for kid. Be warm and optimistic. This is the core principle of authoritative parenting styel which I have briefed below in few lines.
Authoritative Parenting:
Often parents ask, “ Which parenting style is the best?” The answer to this is ‘authoritative parenting’. This parenting style is balanced between love and limits, which is explained below.
Parenting has two components. First one is how much warmth/love/care parents provide to kid. Second component is how strict are the limits/rules. Both should be balanced. Authoritative parenting is about showing care and warmth to the child, at the same time setting rules/ boundaries.
As a result, the kid grows up to be a happy and confident adult, who is capable of taking independent decisions in future.
5. “Time in”( child directed play ) -
“Time in” is a kind of child-led interactive play activity. Parents just guide and engage the child, and let him/her enjoy own play time. At the same time, parents should be devoting their quality time during that hour and are not busy with media or some other work.
Parents need to intervene only when there is an impending harm. Child directed play-time facilitates creativity and independence.
6. Communication -
Communication is the very basis of parent child relation. It should be both ways. Parents not only tell but also listen to the child. They should attend to a child’s doubts and questions. Instead of straight off saying ‘no’, parents should also state the reason behind denial.
7. Read out loud-
There is another positive parenting tip not many parents know. This says to read out loud stories to your kid. It speeds up language development. Furthermore it promotes literacy and school-readiness.
8. Family time
Spending time together like having family meals or going on family outing is all-important for child rearing.
9. Model behaviour-
Kids look up to their parents and try to follow their behaviour, more than words. So be a model to your kid. How you behave with people and situations around, does matter.
If things are overwhelming and aggression strikes in, then breathe and calm yourself down before interacting with your child.
10. Handle Temper tantrum-
Throwing tantrum is quite common in toddlers ( kids between 1-3 years of age ). At this age they are overly curious to explore. But they can not analyse consequences of their action.
If situation demands and they get too cranky, then redirect your toddler’s inquiring mind towards something else.
11. Understand behaviour-
Behavioural issues are way too common in kids than parents realise. Abnormal behaviour may reflect to outside ( extroversion ), for e.g. aggression. Or it may be drawn more inwards ( introversion ) like overthinking and anxiety in children.
Positive parenting guide declares that, there is always a reason behind a child’s mis-behaviour. Parents need to find that out.
Important note
There is an ABC formula to reform a child’s behaviour. Here A-B-C stands for
- Antecedent
- Behaviour
- Consequence
To apply ABC, first try to figure out the ‘antecedent event’ or trigger that evokes mis-behaviour. Analyse the course of ‘behaviour’ and also its ‘consequences’.
Bottom line is, try to figure out the root cause behind behaviour of your kid.
12. Problem Solving-
Problem solving is a skill young children need to learn when they start academics and other activities in school. Key part of parenting responsibilities is to assist your kid in solving mathematics and science based problems if he/she is struggling with. Not only that but also help to riddle out real life problems too.
At times behavioural issue is because child is finding it hard to sort out problems. If kid is too anxious or overthinking on it, then talk to your child that it is alright to learn in his/her own pace. Seek professional help if needed.
13. Safety-
Child should have right environment around to explore. At the same time parents should keep him/her protected against injury or harm.
14. Emotional need -
Just like adults, kids do have emotions. When your kid expresses itself, then don’t discard its emotions at once, but acknowledge it.
Also kids do yearn for physical contacts like hugs, cuddles etc from parents time to time. Understanding your kids emotional needs is equally important as taking care of physical health and nutrition.
15. Take care of yourself-
You can not pour from an empty cup, right !
Take good care of your health in terms of nutrition, exercise ( morning walk ) and maintaining social circle. These things feel like distant dream for parents, especially mothers as they are overwhelmed with parenting responsibilities. Try to get back to your self care routine and regain your selfworth.
Do not shy away to take help and support from people around. Because parents deserve support too.
Important note:
Studies show that parental depression leads to low IQ in kids. Hence find ways to take care of your mental health.
Conclusion
Do not set unrealistic goals for a child. Too difficult targets are major reason for anxiety in childhood. Moreover understand your child’s capabilities and weakness also.
Share your idea of positive parenting in comments. Try to apply some of our tips and experience the difference. Forward this article to needy parents. Cause you don’t know which life you will be changing by doing so.
Caution
All the informations provided here are for educational and awareness purpose only. Kindly do not use these as alternative to medical consultation.
